Why to Forgive

I actually first started to write this post back in August of 2020. I can't remember what I wanted to say then but as my mind has been in a writing frenzy the words I have now are more informed than they would have been then.

I'm sure their is a person or two in my life that would argue, how dare I have the audacity to write about forgiveness. To them I would say, people change, people grow, people heal from traumatic experiences and with that learn. That aside, I believe those words and I believe that it's is just those circumstances that taught me why to forgive.

Forgiveness is needed when are are hurt by someone, to put it in rudimentary terms. Often the barriers to this forgiveness are anger, pride, feelings of power, fear and worldliness.

• Anger: whatever was done has made you mad and those feelings prevent you from seeing that you haven't forgiven the actions and/or words

• Pride: this is a really common one. We feel that we are above or justified in not forgiving because of whatever took place.

• Feelings of Power: we believe that if we forgive that we are at a disadvantage with the power dynamics.

• Fear: being afraid of the consequences of forgiveness can stand in the way because it feels like a form of punishment depending on the situation.

• Worldliness: our world does not value forgiveness, it values justice and often these two do not mix for the reasons above.

So why forgive with all those reasons not to? For me, God is the easiest reason to forgive. His sacrifice in His Son, His forgiveness of us no matter how many times we screw up, His unconditional love. Ultimately, it comes down to my life goal of being a reflection of Christ, to be an example and to leave people wanting to know what it is that makes the difference in my life. For me personally there is also the knowledge of what unforgiveness has driven me to be in the past and that person and those feelings are not ones that I wish to repeat. I wish to learn from my brokenness, from my dark places and to be a light.

I have explained the circumstance of what I have eluded to above in another post. The point is, down at the core - love is the reason for forgiveness. How cliché! Seriously, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 has always been a favorite because it was the first long Bible verse I ever memorized. The message of that verse really had no meaning for so long until I was in a relationship where I was striving to show love like God shows and being a reflection of that verse to that person. I often failed but I learned little by little and grew to understand my strengths and weaknesses in love. Forgiving and keeping no record of wrongs was a hard but I found the freedom of letting it go, leaving it in God's hands and stop holding over people the mistakes they made in the past. To that I must clarify that that means when you say you've forgiven, it's over and is not repeated in a means to justify defensive feelings. Forgiveness is not a conditional offer, we must think of forgiveness as God has, once gone is gone forever.

Forgiveness, it's on a learning curve as we grow in Christ. If it's your strength, good for you, embrace that strength because so many of those barriers stand in others ways. When we choose to be like Jesus it gets easier and when we struggle, just never forget to pray. Be blessed.