My Nursing Story - Year 1

Happy Nurses week to all the amazing nurses, young and old. Thank you for all you do. Thank you may never be enough to capture the gratitude of what is deserved to all of you but let's be honest, we don't nurse for the acknowledgement of what we do, we do it because we love it.

So in two weeks I mark the one year anniversary of passing my NCLEX and becoming a fully registered RN, in the midst of a global pandemic. I wanted to take this opportunity to look back, to reflect and to celebrate what being a nurse in my first year of practice has meant.

Let's start off with the fact that my nursing career looks nothing like I expected. I started nursing, even before I started, saying I would be an emergency room nurse. That was the prize, that was the goal, that is what I worked so hard to achieve. As nursing school progressed I found that I liked other areas of nursing and my life changed too. As my final year of nursing school approached we had to put selections in for placements. At the time I was engaged, I had no idea what province I'd be living in or the availability of those coveted ER nursing jobs, so I made the smart choice, the one that would equip me to walk into any hospital across the country with skills and abilities to be any kind of nurse - I requested to be placed in internal medicine. Don't get me wrong, I already really liked internal medicine but that sacrifice was hard. It was giving up getting my foot in the door to my dream. But I had a new dream, it was being by the side of my future husband wherever he might be placed, able to get a job in nursing . It stung the day I got my placement location in internal medicine and hours later the reason I'd sacrificed my dream decided to break off the engagement. Nonetheless, there was learning to be had and I am ever grateful for the amazing preceptor I had. I was ready to join that team when I graduated... until the unit manager didn't follow through on my application.

I graduated without a job offer and I put out resume after resume. Finally, with the idea in mind that I'd be moving out of the province before the end of the year, my phone rang. On the other side of that phone was one of the kindest women I know, who took a chance on a new grad to be the most responsible party in charge of 174 people in long term care. People scoff at long term care nurses, we just do administration, we aren't real nurses because we don't work in a hospital. Tell me that when I've been in the room with many residents when they breathe their last breaths, or when I've had to call their families. Tell me that when I could name every resident in my building in a week, know all their medications and cared for them like they were one of my own. I rose to a challenge, I learned and I may not have been perfect but working in long term care did not make me less of a nurse.

Hours were getting sparse, I was feeling God's call to move on 5 months in and I returned the message of a recruiter who had contacted me. 4 days later I was hired to be a home care nurse and started 2 weeks later. Did my training shifts and then went out on my own. I started to build my caseload, most of them were cast offs from nurses who had quit or clients no one wanted for one reason or another. I was learning as I went. I have amazing co workers who are supportive and helpful, we work alone but we are a team.

Just over a month ago I lost a client I had had since my first week, it was very unexpected. I spent a day in shock when I got the notice they had passed in hospital. I still think about them every day. I had seen them everyday I worked, I spent well over a hundred hours treating this client and I am still gutted that they are gone. I remember the day they innocently asked me why I didn't work in a hospital, as if that made me less of a nurse. I replied I wanted a challenge. I spent 4 years of school working in a hospital, that is what was comfortable for me, that was what I had worked for, what I'd dreamed about. Hospital nurses, they are disposable, find me a hospital nurse that feels cared about or appreciated by their employer. I'll wait. Find me a hospital nurse that has never worked in the community that has the skills I have. My boss in long term care begged me not to leave, my home care agency acknowledges the importance of every member of our team, if one of us goes down, we don't have back ups. My current job is complex, I liaise with care coordinators, doctors, families, supply companies and many others near daily, while still providing care on a schedule.

What have I gained from my first year of nursing? Perspective. I remember the mentality had by most of my classmates in school. If you weren't working in the hospital you just weren't as good of a nurse. That community nursing in all its forms was easy, cushy, despite our professors telling us otherwise. To that I say - I respect your role, please respect mine. I have learned more, done more and cared more in the community than I ever thought possible. I wish people would recognize that community nurses have earned their credit throughout this pandemic too. No nurse is less of a nurse because of where they work, this stigma needs to end.

Now there are still nursing dreams and goals and I'm sure they will all come one day in their good timing. I look forward to all I will learn, all the people I'll meet and the new challenges and adventures that year 2 of nursing will bring.