Marriage vs A Wedding

It's my wedding day!!!

In a few short hours I'll be saying the vows I wrote during the first month of dating to the most wonderful man, and I'm so excited. The thing is, I'm not excited about the wedding. In fact, for the just shy of 6 months since our engagement, my husband-to-be has heard me say how much I don't like wedding planning. What I'm excited about is the next step, the new journey; I'm excited about the marriage.

What COVID brought into the open was the fact that most people don't truly value the marriage, that's not their priority. That's the majority but I can happily say I do know many people who have chosen to get married amidst the pandemic. Having a big party was not going to stop them from what they actually wanted which was to be married and begin sharing a life together.

So I suppose my point in sharing all this is to remind others what is the purpose of marriage. Marriage was created by God. The purposes were to serve as companionship (Genesis 2), to produce offspring and to be the earthly image of God's covenant with His people. Our world is so broken, so many break the steps that God intended for a holy life. Couples have children and move in together before marriage, and sometimes they never marry. If you cite the above purposes, we find that marriage is a way of honoring and glorifying God. So then why do non-believers even get married?

We go back to my initial statement, that our society most often chooses to get married, as non-believers, so they have the excuse to have a big party. Some may also cite financial security, sharing of assets and wanting to fit into the societal expectations.

That big party is exactly why I don't care about my wedding. I could have stood in the pastors office and eloped and been perfectly happy. Those that want to celebrate with us will do so in supporting our marriage in the days, months and years to come. That being said, obviously I'm having a wedding. But it's very small, just family. The reason for that is as a sign of respect as we fulfill God's commandment to leave our mothers and fathers to become one. This is our symbolic ceremony where we will publicly promise to share our lives in the pursuit of honoring God.

Marriage is a gift. It needs to be nurtured and built. Life has troubles and trials and in marriage you need to be prepared to work as a team. There is no room for pride in marriage, it is the kiss of death. Pride is what leads to infidelity and conflict, the second one person in a marriage believes they are sufficient in a silo there is breakdown.

Once thing I did leading up to today, was marriage counseling. Not because we were having trouble but because the pastor who will marry us asks for this to be completed to equip us for whatever may come. We also voluntarily took a marriage course with several other couples from our church which was even a fun bonding time and a way to meet some couples in all stages of their marriages. The reason I mention this is because we have been prioritizing our marriage long before we were married. We didn't violate any covenant but we prepared ourselves for what that marriage covenant means. It means to live a Godly life, honoring God first, our spouse second. Marriage is for life.

So yes its my wedding day. It's one day for a lifetime of marriage. Personally, it's always been the marriage I was after and thankfully that is the same for my husband to be.